Here is a news flash ladies, relationships suck unless you find that one person who is just like you and who is mature enough to be on your level. This guy I met on eharmony, who was matched with me 85%, worms his way into my life, my family, my daughter's heart. He talks a lot about how he wants to get married to me and moving in together in our own apartment. He keeps talking about all of this with me, my daughter, my mother, Marcella Leonard, my aunt, ZoeZita Holifield, and some of the rest of my family, and then after telling my daughter that she can call him "Daddy" for about two months, he breaks up with me in an e-mail sent by his cell phone, but because I only got the first line, he then sends the text-email in a dang on text message. What kind of mature responsible man does this? He is the one who wanted to be exclusive. He is the one who told my mother that he definitely wasn't going anywhere....when my mom grilled him about her grandbaby calling him, "Daddy".... ....and that was quite a while ago. Then this past Saturday, my daughter and I get sick and were on bedrest for the whole day ...  and he sends me a "break up" message via text. Then he has the audacity to say, "He still wants to be friends and keep in contact with my daughter, myself, and my family". He also changed his relationship status on Facebook. This is so petty and so immature. I am too grown for this drama in my life right now and too much of a business woman. Well just another story in my blog entitled, "Looking 4 Love N All The Wrong Places"....hit me up with your comments on my blog: http://looking4lovenallthewrongplaces.blogspot.com/
....'cause you definitely know this will be on there.

BREAKUP LETTER:
Sorry to email, but I had to get my thoughts and feelings out. I know this is sudden and confusing but the loss that I have in me from losing my children is effecting me more than I thought it ever could/would. Instead of focusing on [his kid #1] & [his kid #2] more, I tried to fill my heart with you and [my daughter] and your family.
I don't know if I can be everything you want me to be Ruby.
I can't overlook my children as I have been doing and the reality is that I don't know if I can be all that I need to be for you and [my daughter].
My heart stopped hurting for a short time, but started to hurt again a few weeks ago. I look at the bigger picture, and the truth of everything hits me like I've failed.
I feel like I'm not what you need. I desperately don't want to disappoint you or your family, but I don't know if I can be the father to [his kid #1] & [his kid #2], that I need to be, while I attempt to balance around everything else...
I may just need to be alone too, idk.
Please don't hate me for dumping out my heart like this and know that i want to always keep contact with you and your family Ruby. Like you said, we'll always love each other and we will never forget it.
Sincerely, Zackery T Led.

MY RESPONSE:
I understand. Thank you Zackery for being honest. Good luck with your children. I will keep you in my prayers.

Well, I guess this is just another way to "Look 4 Love N All The Wrong Places". Some day I will be married, but TODAY is not that day!

Animations (playlist)

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Ruby N Lewis: Mine are the grapes which morph into the rocket: In Animation I at JTCC, we played the grade school game of "telephone" in Flash by morphing objects into one another. Each student drew one image, then traded with a peer to obtain a second keyframe. Then each one placed "midpoints" and inbetweens to blend the two drawings together.

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Shebana

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Class Project: My Very First Animated Walk Cycle Where I Created Everything (Background and Shebana As Well).

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Broken: The Impact of Absent Fathers

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A Stop Motion Film About The Hard Life of A Busy Single Mother On Welfare Trying To Keep Balance of Her Life In General

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Fabulous 50's Puppet

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Fabulous 50's is supposed to be a metaphor for the beauty of being a woman in her 50's. I think the older you get, the more wiser and fabulous you become.

I created this Animation for a class project. This piece, which has a total of 1750 frames in Flash, took 3 weeks to create and finish including the background. Each piece in the background (Sun, Moon, Stars, Rainbow, Clouds, Grass, Sky) has a separate layer, motion tween, and gradient. I know this piece may not look that complicated, but it was very time consuming and challenging to make. I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I did.

Sincerely,

Ruby N Lewis

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Something Is Missing

Deep in the heart of women, you will find the most precious jewel there is. Women are creatures, that even in the midst of tragedy and hurt, they will try to be strong at any cost. Coming from an era when they were meant to be seen and not heard, women have had to face and overcome many obstacles, especially over the past century.

Rape, murder, sodomy, sexual abuse, domestic violence, sexism, homelessness, single-parenting, abortion, gender discrimination, racism, breast and ovarian cancer, sexual harassment, low self-esteem, bulimia, anorexia, loneliness, divorce, false child protective services allegations, sexually transmitted diseases, religion, homosexuality, suicide, becoming a United States orphan, drugs, and alcohol are just some of the issues that women still face today. Struggling to find their place in life, some women turn to “the church”; however that isn’t so easy if there is an absence of support, compassion, and empathy. It can also become a burden and a curse rather than a blessing if the wrong people are running that church.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find the “right” man to get married to. I have met so many men who just want to have sex and not a real relationship. Having been sexually molested throughout majority of my childhood has left me quite scarred. Some men just do not realize the severity of the trauma they cause when they just please themselves and throw everything else to the wind. I can honestly say that I do not remember when my virginity was taken. I was never given the opportunity to give it away. I always wonder what goes through a man’s head when they do some of the things that they do.

Being a United States orphan, there are also a great number of things that I have not experienced. I often wonder how many of the women who have been where I have been have made it to that special place of serenity. However, doing a lot research has led me to believe that most women often do not make it that far. I believe that women are dying, not just physically, but spiritually, sexually, and emotionally as well. More and more women are “snapping”, going crazy, becoming homosexual, committing suicide, developing eating disorders, doing drugs and alcohol, getting revenge/even, taking medication, and yes, even committing murder.

Plenty of times, I have also found that going to church lends no helping hand. New Christians do not know how to pray or worship and the older generations don’t teach them. I have found myself repeating “The Lord’s Prayer” because lots of times I just did not know what to say. Other women my age also seeking answers and asking questions but have yet to discover the light, seemed just as lost as I am. Going to church has become more of a “copycat” session rather than a revival. Asking questions feels like a burden because there is either no time to have them answered in bible study, church, or Sunday School, or older Christians can’t understand why the younger generation just doesn’t “get it” like they do. I have been told quite a bit that when I pray Jesus will answer me, but a lot of times I wish that I was as close to Jesus as Bishop T.D. Jakes is. Jesus always takes care of me wherever I go, but I always feel like something is missing. I look around the church wanting to speak in tongues, cry, and dance like everyone else. It seems like the more I pray, the more lost I become. I know Jesus is real because I have felt that overwhelming peace and I know it is him. Whenever I even think about the end times and the possibility that Jesus might tell me to depart from him he never knew me, I cry because he is the only father I have ever known…but something is still missing.

Looking at him with my own watery eyes and still not being able to actually see the “light”, I wonder, “Where do I go from here”? Then I close my eyes and realize that I feel really alone, lost, and scared and I am truly “spiritually blind”.

Ruby Lewis - Profile Summary on BrightFuse - A Talent Community

Ruby Lewis - Profile Summary on BrightFuse - A Talent Community

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